You’re Not Listening

I found this book on audible in my search for something about asking powerful questions.

I’m interested in coaching, and that needs good questions.

I was a bit sceptical starting it, but have found some nuggets in there already, by the end of chapter 3/17.

This one prompted my writing today:

‘The most valuable lesson I’ve learnt as a journalist is that everybody is interesting, if you ask the right questions. If someone’s dull or uninteresting, it’s on you’.

I love this. I don’t think we ask enough questions. We assume people will jump in to talk about something that’s interesting, to entertain us.

Or we ask too many questions, but the wrong sort. We interrogate them, ‘peppering people with appraising and personal questions’ which means you’re not trying to get to know someone, you’re sizing them up.

No wonder communication often shuts down. I’ve been on both ends of this – seeing other people withdraw under my attempts to get to know them, or feeling on the defence as people ask me questions which are thinly-veiled attempts to talk about themselves.

So now, the question is, which are the right questions to ask.

The answer wasn’t in this chapter, but I’ll go hunting!